Welcome to My Whirled

Pointing and laughing at life :Þ

My Superhero's Special Power

If you could have any super power is probably the top pot talk subject next to the atom in the fingernail of a giant thing. Because I have smoked, I mean because I have given this matter a great deal of thought to this subject I have a very refined idea.


Being able to fly would be cool. You could get places quickly and without having to deal with being stripped searched by some TSA rent a cop who is on probation herself.

But what are you going to do when you get where you are going? You still have to have money.

"Hey I can fly!"

"Great, it's still $7.50 for the latte."

I suppose you could use flying power to make money. You could smuggle drugs, for example. But that would make it a job. What is so super about that?

Everyone seems to go for the invisibility thing. You could get away with a lot of stuff if no one could see you. The girls locker room comes to mind.

The major drawback is that, while you are invisible, other things are not. You can't steal because the money flowing in midair would be visible. Worse, you could only use your power while naked. That means no being super in Chicago in February. And what are you going to do when you are done being invisible? You would have to go home or some other location where you could stash clothes.

Super strength is great if you want to break things. Xray vision would be lame as I don't find a girl's pancreas to be that exciting. And one accidental glance into the ladies room at a nursing home would do me in. The power to make people fart almost won me over. It would cause endless hilarity but there is a backlash. Especially in Mexican restaurants.

I am going for mind control. Not like hypnotism or fake vampire crap. I mean the ability to truly bend others to my will.

Whatever I wanted, I could get someone else to pay the price for it. Free flights, breaking things, hurting people, girls getting naked, even the fart control thing would all be mine for the asking.

If the person I am controlling has to do something illegal for me, big deal. When they get caught what are they going to say? If the cops do decide to bother me about the 23 pounds of cocaine Miguel left at my door, they may just have a sudden desire to go to the country jail and shower with the guys they put in there.

Obama hands the Presidency over to Sarah Palin then plays Lemming on the Cliffs with all his liberal pals. TV program directors stop with the dumb ass reality shows. Muslim terrorists suddenly think Mohammad wants them to chew off their own nuts. My fiance is really okay with me banging Scarlett Johansen. The potential is endless.

Mind control is the super power to have. Just ask televangelists or any girl with huge knockers.

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One response to “My Superhero's Special Power

  1. Zoe January 4, 2011 at 12:41 AM

    As a women with huge knockers I must say it is fun…

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