Welcome to My Whirled

Pointing and laughing at life :Þ

When the Lights Go Out

Lightning!

Everyone says the same thing: the thunderstorm that puts the light out will be entertaining. I have to agree with that.

A tornado makes it even cooler. You can only see them coming when the lightning flashes. So you flinch every time the sky lights up. It's better than a Freddy Kruger movie.

The problem is that the power doesn't come back on as soon as the storm ends. Those worthless power company slackers can take hours to get it back on. How hard can it be? Look for wires hanging down, put them back up. Of course they are union so they probably get a two hour coffee break for every time they use electrical tape.

So, while they are sucking down Starbuck's, I have to find something to do.

Mostly what I do is go around the house mindlessly trying to use things that require electricity. "Oh shit, that's right. The (insert noun here) won't work without power."

They tell you to keep a battery powered radio around in case of a blackout.Have you listened to the stuff you can get on a battery powered radio today?Boredom is a better choice. In fact, a coma is a better choice.

I could listen to music on my iPhone. But doing that in the dark without being stoned is really not that appealing. MTV ruined musical imagery.

Masturbation is out since porn on a cell phones is worthless. Unless you have a thing for Lilliputians. Plus there is using one hand to hold it and having to turn the screen back on all the time. Not to mention stumbling around in the dark trying to find tissues.

Oh yes, NEVER have sex just for something to do. The result of that will cost you years of misery and thousands in college tuition.

By the way. How come, when the lights are on, I know where everything in the house is and can unthinkingly go right to it but, in the dark, I may as well have parachuted into an unexplored jungle.

The short answer is that I occupy my time during a power outage by trying to figure out having to occupy my time during the power outage.

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