Welcome to My Whirled

Pointing and laughing at life :Þ

If I Was in Charge Today

The Left Lane is MINE
Get out of my way, I have places to be. The left lane will now be known as the DOV (Dave Occupied Vehicle) lane. Any driver that is not me caught in the DOV lane will be sentenced to riding a goat for the rest of his life

When there is a single lane, vehicles will simply pull to the side and let me pass

No Children Under 12 in Public
I am tired of not being able to enjoy myself because of screaming, snotty little brats running around. They spread disease and are a safety hazard.

Parents will be required to keep children out of public until they can act like human beings, Violation of this rule will result in the offending parent paying for everyone’s meal, movie, airline ticket etc. (depending on the venue) and being sterilized.

No Freebies
Enough with welfare ticks sucking off of hard-working Americans.

First, if you don’t speak English, you get zilch, aside from a free trip back to Mexico in a semi with 237 of your amigos.

All you people on public assistance will be drug tested . The people who earn the free money you get have to do it. If you fail it means you are making too much money. Out you go.

If you can make babies, you can work. Get off your back and on your feet because you ADC baby factories are now off the dole.

You don’t have to be Einstein or Arnold Schwarzneggar to work at Burger King. You will be evaluated and, unless you are a retarded blind quadriplegic you can get a job.

I Stay
I will do such a wonderful job getting this mess of a universe cleaned that there will be a rule saying I get to make the rules from here on out.

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