Welcome to My Whirled

Pointing and laughing at life :Þ

Getting It On Your Chest

What the hell is going on with tits?

There is a 12 year old girl in my neighborhood who has D cups. It seems that, as soon as a girl hits puberty, she is ready to do a Victoria’s Secret commercial. Just a generation ago, honkers were not issued until well into the mid-teens. Now they are making Powerpuff Girl bras.

I have heard every theory posited about this early blooming: mom did drugs,  growth hormones in the chicken, playing Laura Croft video games. The real cause is that our society is so tata oriented, young women sub-consciously will theirs to grow.

At the other end  of the mammary spectrum, older women won’t accept the laws of physics. Gravity pulls, connective tissues weaken, and yabos head south. However females will go to no end and spare no expense to keep those mommy melons looking as taut and firm as they did when they were 16.

Now think about this. Regularly remodeling the fun bags does not do anything to keep the rest of the body from succumbing to the horrors of time. In a few decades, the nursing home porch will be lined with saggy, wrinkled old ladies with perfect racks.

Everything has a given cycle on the wheel of time. Things are “born” at a specified time, they have the lifespan they have been allotted, then they fade away and die. This is balance. This is order. This is what keeps the universe humming.

This dangerous idea of honkers being exempt from universal order, their popping up when they wish and overstaying their designated time, is causing a lot of problems.

Fun bags are like blank checks, they get women everything they want. You can’t criticize their efforts at keeping the golden geese laying (so to speak). But this selfish defiance of universal laws is going to end up costing a lot and we will all have to pay the bill.

But is it any wonder that wacko Arabs have nuclear weapons? War is about to break out in a dozen different places? The Gulf of Mexico is becoming a giant Jiffy Lube? Shows like “Dancing With the Stars” are on TV? It’s because the  universe is tearing itself apart like an unbalanced washer on “spin.”

Something has to be done about the coming aureole apocalypse. We need to take things in hand, put the squeeze on the situation and milk some sanity out of this madness.

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