It has been a banner week for the justice system. The amount of stupidity that has occurred within this august institution has been, well, criminal.
Scotland reaffirmed its reputation for being a backward, haggis and thistle eating country with an extreme affection for sheep. They let the Lockerbie Bomber go free. Abdel Baset al-Megrahi (whose name alone should be enough to get the chair) was released on compassionate grounds.
He blew up 270 people at 35,000 feet and these skirt-wearing morons think he deserves compassion? Big deal, the terrorist has prostrate cancer. The gods didn’t see fit to show him compassion. So who are those MacMorons to argue with them? And they wonder why their desolate country makes Death Valley look like a resort.
The backward Socialists don’t believe in the death penalty. So they sentenced this mass murderer to life. Hello! Doesn’t a life sentence mean until you die? Although I will grant that a single day in Scotland would seem like death.
At any rate, this repulsive coward has been sent back to his cat box country and a hero’s welcome. Thousands of future terrorists greeted him at the airport and showered him with flowers. If Justice were not dysfunctional, his plane would have crashed into the airport and killed them all.
In an astounding display of international outrage, Britain’s Foreign Secretary condemned the homecoming. I know that makes the families of the 270 people who died feel better.
Meanwhile, those of us who have not blown up anything but balloons have to take our shoes off on disease-infested airport carpets while old ladies get their boobs squeezed by the TSA.
On the other side of the unbalanced scales (and mindset) of Justice, NFL wide receiver Plaxico Burress was sentenced to two years for shooting himself. Following in the same vein of merciless retribution as the British Foreign Minister, the NFL commissioner has decreed that Burress cannot play football while he in in jail. I assume this is based on the fear that his bright orange prison uniform would unfairly make him an easy target on the field.
How sad is it that our American freedoms have been eroded to the point that you can’t even pull out a gun and blow your own leg off? The only real crime Plaxico committed was not aiming high enough.
In light of the endless stream of antisocial acts committed by NFL players, I think Plaxico should be rewarded. Perhaps with a bigger gun and a laser sight. His behavior should be a model for all professional football players. They should be encouraged to shoot themselves in return for special endorsement deals and contractual bonuses. The value of these should increase according to the extent and severity of the wound. A fatality would be rewarded with their number being retired and a spot in the Football Hall of Fame.
This would help the sport by cleaning up its image as a means of turning violent savages into millionaires. There would be the added benefit of all the young thugs who worship them emulating their heroes. Thus keeping future sociopaths from attaining a place above the law. Plus providing a healthy dose of chlorine to the gene pool.
You can peruse your favorite news source and see many examples of twisted justice. 12-year-olds being branded as child pornographers for taking nude pictures of themselves. Greedy bastards who ruin countless lives stealing billions not having to repay a cent. Forgiveness showered on black rapists while being denied to a white man who made a noose. Sadly, this is just a part of the ridiculous chaos that has become life on Planet Earth.
I can actually hear William Wallace, Red Grange and Oliver Wendall Holmes turning over in their graves.