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VME Special Sunday Edition

It’s a banner Sunday. There is so much going on that it rates an edition of Various Miscellaneous Etceteras all its own.

Daylight Savings Time

The government has decided to regulate time itself. Being a benevolent tyrant, it has been nice enough to shorten winter by allowing us to turn our clocks forward early.

Many people question the need for DST. They claim there is no reason for it. Well I beg to differ. There are many reasons for having DST and it has been a very successful concept.

The concept of DST began with the august statesmen and founding father of this country, Ben Franklin, proposed that Parisians extend daylight hours in order to economize on the use of candles? Have you read about a candle crisis in the midst of all the other disasters surrounding us? There you go. One of many very sound arguments for having DST.

But oh my gods, you should hear people bitching about DST! “I hate losing sleep!” “My schedule won’t adjust for a week.” Have we become so lazy and weak that we cannot lose one hour of sleep one day a year? We even get it back in the fall (when you will never hear anyone saying how much they love the extra hour of sleep).

Stop the whining about being late. Even if you are such a dullard that you don’t catch onto the 10,000 mentions of DST in the week before it happens, almost every clock you have changes itself. Even if you have a cheap battery powered cat with the googley eyes wall clock or use a VCR for a wristwatch, surely you should notice the disparity with your computer, cell phone and what the guy on the radio is saying.

Who cares anyway? It’s Sunday! All you are going to be late for is church. If god has a problem with people being late, he should adjust the sun so we don’t have to mess with the clocks.

Home Invasion at God’s

Speaking of church and (ahem) late, there was another church shooting today. Apparently a man walked into a church just outside St. Louis, shot the pastor with a .45 and then tried to kill himself with a…knife.

The human spirit is indomitable. Even the face of such tragedy, stupidity will not be thwarted. I must have read a dozen news reports all of which said the pastor was shot “in front of his congregation.” Now there’s a shock. Don’t pastors usually stand in front of their congregants? I mean, unless it is an altar boy.

Then we get the Christians nattering on about this horror. If the guy had been shot in a park or a convenience store, oh well another tragic shooting. But “why would someone kill people in a church!?”

I will tell you why. They are sitting still. They are half asleep. They make easy targets.

What really gets me is all the calls to “pray for the victim.” Okay, what exactly is god going to do for a dead guy? Make sure he has a nice coffin?

Beyond that, god let a guy waltz into his house with a gun and shoot the preacher- his employee. Why would Christians think god would be nice to him now?

Wait a minute, that pastor worked for god. Is that how you get laid off when the almighty has to make up for bad investments?

International Woman’s Day

Yeah women needed another day. Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, anniversaries, wedding/baby showers, and even Secretary’s Day were not enough. I am not sure what this day is for or whom it honors. I assume it was just an empty Sunday so the girls decided to stick another holiday in.

And let’s be honest, shall we? Every day is woman’s day. And, since vaginas run the world, it’s international.

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2 responses to “VME Special Sunday Edition

  1. Sarah Benavides March 8, 2009 at 2:51 PM

    Dear Mr. Talesin, women are the ones who have to give birth – which is comparable with squeezing a melon through your nostril – I think for this pretty awesome performance we deserve as many holidays as we desire! 😉

  2. SisterCrow March 11, 2009 at 9:36 PM

    What the hell good is a holiday if you don’t get any presents and don’t even get off work?

    If you really want an International Men’s Day, go out and work for it, like some over-the-top feminist did for IWD.

    And Sarah – giving birth is an ability, not a requirement.

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