This seems to have been a big weekend for suicidal drug girls. Friday, on the Opie & Anthony radio show, a porn star named Shawna Lenee had a complete meltdown (possibly the greatest radio since “War of the Worlds”). This morning I found out that a girl I talked to once in a while died due to an overdose. For propriety’s sake, I am going to cal her “Kathy.”
Shawna (who also uses the names Kara Mynor and Kara Bare) just turned 20 which is old for a porn star in today’s world. She uses methamphetamine and has tried to commit suicide on prior occasions.
Kathy just turned 30 last month. Her life was nothing outrageous. She had a job and lived with her mom. She was also a very depressed and she was a heroin addict. She died in her sleep Monday night.
Presumably Shawna has agents and publicists and those who have some interest in her welfare for their own financial gain. Considering her profession and information on one of her past relationships, she probably did not have a lot of support from family and friends.
Kathy was widely disliked in our social circle and with good reason. She was abrasive, self-centered and even threatening. She herself told me that her mother was sick of her behavior. I have had a lot of experience dealing with addicts and even I found it difficult to simply have a conversation with her, let alone try to talk sense to her.
Perhaps a more mentally sound person would not be affected by this. I didn’t know the first woman and I found it impossible to like the second. I did not have any personal investment in either of them and they certainly had no impact on my life.
What bothers me is the reaction I am seeing. Of course I am not better than anyone else. I laughed at Shanna’s antics on O&A and, while I feel sorry for Kathy, I can’t really cry over someone I didn’t like.
I know other young 20-something women who’s lives could certainly veer down this path so there are lots of them out there. But we don’t care. As soon as we hear “porn star” or “drug addict” we mentally throw them into the human trash receptacle and forget them.
Now if they had been black there would be a outrage at yet more examples of how shoddily minorities are treated in this country. If they had been homeless the president himself would hold out his hand in an effort to help them. If they had a man beating them they would be offered consolation, shelter and the protection of the police. If they gave birth to 14 children they would be media darlings being offered millions of dollars for interviews and book deals. If they had AIDS, lived in Africa or were damaged by a natural disaster there would be people lining up to care about them.
But they are “just” young women forced to make bad choices by what, at its core, amounts to a lack of love in their lives. Because of they chose to do things that we perceive as “immoral,’ we look down from the precarious perch of our moral high horses and judge them to be unworthy of our concern.
Which is what got them to where they are now.
How dare we make them pariah for doing things that have no affect on us while we can so callously turn away from a living person?
Is there anything we can do? I can tell you that, in Kathy’s case, the answer is no. I tried. Both passed the point of no return a long time ago. Who knows, though? Where would they be if someone had simply said “you matter”? What if they did not feel like they were societal outcasts because they offended a bunch of hypocrites by doing what they needed to survive?
We love to make a big show of how much we care- about the children, the oppressed, the poor, the handicapped and others. The truth is, we don’t give a fuck.
How many boys were wounded or killed in Iraq and Afghanistan last week?