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I Have a Heart On for VD

Valentine’s Day is undoubtedly the tackiest and most blatant example of ugly consumerism in the holiday lineup.

Now you may argue that xmess hold this title and I would counter with “au contraire.” At least at xmess there are celebrations and songs. There are many-colored lights. And, when it comes to gifts, there is an obsessive need to make sure they are equitably distributed. Snuggies aside, there is usually some effort to give things that are practical or, at least, that have some use.

When it comes to VD there are no weeks of anticipation and exchanged greetings. No family dinners or warm gatherings of kith and kin. Everything is decked out in garish pink and red making the entire first two months of the year look like a cheap motel room in the Poconos.

VD is only about the gifts. And these are not practical gifts. They are flowers and candy and dinners- all things that eventually turn brown and decompose. Perhaps there is some practical gift giving out there. Let me know what happens when you lovingly present your girl with her valentine’s Sham Wow.

What really annoys me is that this holiday is another one way trip down Girl Lane. It is all about buying her things. Sure there are some nice ladies out there that reciprocate but there is no societal pressure for them to do so. Should a man complain he got nothing for VD it provokes questions regarding his true sexual proclivities. If a woman complains, then it is unanimously agreed her fellow is an orifice which dispenses brown, decomposing matter.

Weddings, showers, anniversaries, VD, Mother’s Day- why are all the celebrations geared toward women? Sure, those men who have sired children can look forward to the annual new pair of socks on Father’s Day, but that is about it for the guys. No one can argue that the distribution of gift buying occasions is grossly unequal. What does NOW have to say about this grave social injustice? The same thing they say about women not being allowed into combat.

The message of this season is purported to be love. Right. Watch the commercials on TV. There is the woman, sitting with a distant, somewhat bored look on her face. The guy whips out a diamond necklace and the she leaps up, rips his zipper open with her teeth and starts blowing him. The other people in the restaurant smile as they look on.

The true message of this season is “Women are whores. Buy them things and they will fuck you.” Well I know the women of the world will not stand for this sullying of their nature! They are people with minds not just toys to be bought with mere baubles! All women are going to stand up and make themselves heard! They are going fight this injustice tooth and nail!

Just as soon as they resolve the flying pig issue.

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One response to “I Have a Heart On for VD

  1. Pingback: VME Special Sunday Edition « Welcome to My Whirled

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