Welcome to My Whirled

Pointing and laughing at life :Þ

It’s the End of the World As We Knew It

Here is another thing that runs up the numbers on my weirdness scorecard: I am fascinated by the end of the world. I have seen every EotW movie from The Earth, the Flesh and the Devil to I Am Legend. Among my favorite books are The Last Ship, Lucifer’s Hammer and On the Beach. I occasionally have dreams about being the only person left alive on Earth (it’s great, no traffic). I have even studied and become somewhat of an expert in eschatology (you should be impressed that I even know that word). Of course, I am quite fascinated about this whole 2012 phenomenon.

My hope is that we get plenty of lead time. I want to know as far in advance as possible when the end is going to happen. I want it to be something like a meteor we can see coming from a long way off.  I h0pe it’s not nuclear war or aliens suddenly popping out of hyperspace and vaporizing Earth.

So you may perhaps think I am some kind of doom-craving fatalist. Before rushing to such judgments, I propose that you stop and think about it.

What would you do if you knew the world was going to end in a month? Everyone is going to die and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. Are you still going to get up and go to work? Are you going to worry about retirement? Are you going to plan anything?

Hell no! You are going to party! You can run up your credit cards and have lots of indiscriminate sex. There is certainly no need to be concerned with addiction, cirrhosis or what is going to happen on Lost. Personally, I may even spend some time going through a list of people that I want to slap. We will play that one by ear.

The point is that the end of the world will, hopefully, offer everyone the opportunity to throw off worry and responsibility and all the burdens of life. You can do what you want when you want to whom you want (within reason). This is what we all live for! This is why people play the lottery and steal billions from retirement funds.

Ask yourself, honestly,which would you choose: 50 years of striving, worrying and hoping with the chance that everything will utterly fail? Or one month guaranteed of freedom, joy and knowledge of when and how it is all going to end?

Of course we have to debate everything. We beat dead horses into hamburger because no one wants to accept reality. It looks like the end of the world will be no exception. Is it going to happen? How is it going to happen if it does? Will it just look like the Earth and sun are lined up with the middle of the galaxy or will they actually be? And, of course, the hippies have to jump in with “maybe it will just be a transformation of mankind’s consciousness instead of a physical occurance.”

Oh go choke on a Birkenstock.

All I want is for someone to get off their ass and decide of this is the end and what sort of end it will be. We know it happens on December 21, 2012. So every minute these overpaid poindexters debate is less time for us to indulge in utter debauchery. Those in authority need decree if this is the end of the world and, if there is any doubt, form some kind of back up plan to destroy everything should the Mayan predictions fail to pan out.

Personally I don’t want to gamble my lack of a future on a culture that started out ruling the world and now works at Taco Bell and mows our lawns.

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